Sabotage and Giving into Temptation.

We all go through it at some point in our lives. Whether  it comes from the outside or from within. Some people do it to us without even meaning to. We have family members who voice concern because we are trying a new way of eating, a husband who brings home the newest Oreo flavor, or friends who want to go out for drinks. The hardest is when we do it to ourselves. We slip up on one meal and that one meal becomes two, then a week, a month and so on. My biggest obstacle is the internal sabotage. It's easy for me to tell other people no thank you when they put something in front of me. However, when that little internal voice pops up and tells me it's okay to eat that ice cream cone or stop through a drive-thru on the way home because no one else will know it's hard to say no. 

I've been doing so well diet wise until this week. I wish I could say it was due to a large 4th of July party spread with loads of temptation and goodies, but no. I actually did really well at our family's yearly cookout. I planned ahead, ate before going, and took water with me. The sabotage came later in the week in the form of a that horrible little voice. That bitch can be the biggest sabotager of all. She told me on Monday that since I hadn't broke my fast at 2pm that eating a crispy buttermilk chicken sandwich from McDonalds would be okay. Can you believe I listened to her!!!! I wish I could say that I at least enjoyed that sandwich and savored each bite, nope I wolf that baby down. I had a short drive back home and wanted it gone before I made it home. That inner voice didn't want my husband to know that she had won. I wish I could say that my little spree ended there. After I had an awesome weigh in on Wednesday I decided on Thursday I could relax on my diet for that day. I ordered from my favorite Greek restaurant and ate a huge meal of hummus with pita, chicken shawarma with delicious garlic sauce , grape leaves, and rice pudding. The meal alone was well over 1000 calories. My husband was working late that night and not only did I order pizza, breadsticks, and cinnamon sticks for dinner, I also ate past my cut off time of 7pm. Did it end there.....nope.....It went into Friday as well. I ate a whole Dairy Milk caramel candy bar and a package of twix. On top of all these poor choices the inner bitch sabotaged me with, I didn't go to the gym yesterday or today. 

So...why did I just tell the whole world I did this to myself? Because I know that I need to stop this cycle. This inner voice works in secret and tells me that if only she and I know then it didn't really happen right? I need to be accountable to not only myself but to you guys as well. This cycle has been what caused me to fail in previous attempts to lose the weight. I can't let this cycle stop my progress so far. Even though I ate these horrible things, I did something that I never did in the past, I logged every failure I put in my mouth on myfitnesspal. Before I would have just not logged anything and acted like it never happened. Not this time! I will stop this cycle and reach my goals. I need to shut this inner voice up and not feed into it. I am stronger than this inner sabotager and I will defeat it this time. I may have slipped this week but today is a new day. 

 Until next time, Stay strong Iron Family!!!